love

Kites: An Afterthought

A variant of colors moving at different speeds, all across the newly cut grass. It was this scenery which caused flutters in my stomach and chest. Another chest pain, I thought. However, this was far from those pain-inducing stirrings.

I stared at the sky with hands clasped rather gently at the phone which I just finished using; if it were not for your need to eat, it would have still been pressed firmly against my ear. Among the beautiful blues and whites, an additional color rose up to kiss the seemingly unreachable sky. A kite. Its yellow adorned the already charming hues. I felt a pull at the corner of my lips as a thought made its way into my train of thought.

You.

Us.

The scene in front of me induced feelings rather unrelated to it. It was in this instant that I realized how changed my life has been. All because of you. I was a mere shade of blues and whites, a combination which I paid no heed but still appreciated much. Initially, I had thought of this two-colored palette as something already satisfying. Something I had been much contented with before you showed  me how you could blend other colors with my current ones. Like the strange yellow that interrupted the stable colors of the sky, your colors suddenly entered my life and gave its aesthetic a whole new meaning.

It was this moment, this kite, that made me realize how grateful I am for the intrusion of  a thousand colors. The vibrant and darker hues made my dull skies livelier, much lovelier. You give me so much that words alone cannot explain. You gave me more than what I asked for and I could never be any happier than when I am reminded of the gift that is you.

You made my sky exquisite but you should know that you are far more stunning.

Love?

I see a lot who mourn in agony and depression because of this certain feeling oh-so-intoxicating. I hated this said sensation before but ironically, I had fallen into the depths of its evil, even as I had been an anti-love enthusiast back in the past years of my high school days. It had been confusing and yet beneficial at the same time, making it all the more reason to be considered as something along the lines of a headache and a heart burn. To say that I have never come upon to grow fond of this feeling would be a lie, in all honesty. I don’t even know why I ended up getting struck by the arrow inflicted upon my unaware heart at the wrong time. It, perhaps, might be my fault. Mea culpa. How? Well, I fall far too fast. Possibly as fast as the speed of sound(it’s still slower than light, you see). However, when this happens, I don’t usually get too stuck in too deep. it usually only lasts for a few weeks or so but at the moment, I have violated my own rules that I have made as restrictions for myself and worst of all, it’s getting stronger as time passes by.

Going back to the topic at hand, love is certainly something beautiful, something everyone must experience but get this. But, when someone’s says he or she is in love, it’s just mere infatuation. Love doesn’t feel like that, it’s not about butterflies and rainbows, flowers blooming at the end of the road. No. Love is something more simple, something harder to attain. A level of pure loyalty and devotion; like how a religious Christian values God in his or her life or how an agnostic feels settled in his or her chosen beliefs. Love is when you are past the infatuation stage and those tingly feelings are gone. However, the passion for the other is still there despite the teenagerly feelings being gone. I have kept these in mind for as long as I can remember and I have been going through life with this at heart and mind. So how can we just state the three words to someone who is not even at that level in our heart? How can we just throw those words that used to mean something really big? How can the word ‘like’, now mean more than love, was it not supposed to be the other way around? It’s saddening, to be honest, how love is simply being stuck into our mindset as if it is something we can say to each and everyone. I myself do the same thing but I do little revisions. I use the full word when I truly mean it and use a combination of letters that sound like love when it is not coming from my heart. In my whole life, I have used the word whilst talking to someone just once, just to one person. This, however, does not get me away from the fact that I say it to almost everyone as well. Let’s just take a moment and think before letting the word escape from our mouths. Is it our heart that is truly speaking or is it just the playful mouth?