Alas, another semester has ended. With the coming of yet another vacation comes another direct strike to the heart. It almost seems intentional now, as if the universe knows exactly when to shoot its arrows of flame. It drives me crazy how it is so coincidental that my parting with the love of my life always has to have anxiousness and hurt on the line. Not of our own doing, but of life’s itself.
The first time we had to go our separate ways, I had to go home with the ever-lingering pain in my chest, the constant worrying for her health and well-being. Now, I saw her home with a tight knot hurting her chest. For the past few days, she had been fighting tears and doing all she could to cheer herself up. Every single day, I would see tears brimming into her eyes and seeing her go through so much pain gets me so weak in the knees. She does not cry a lot; her tears are worth so much more than mine, even. Seeing these tears run through her cheeks make me want to rush to the heavens and bargain with whoever is up there just to stop her pain. The night we sat by the sea, she let out her feelings and I have never cried so much for a person I had no memories with before that moment.
It’s rather new to me, how her loss pains me almost as much. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I know how much he means to her. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have learned to love him as well from the conversations we had exchanged about her life. It surprises me, how I could learn to love a person whom I am sure loves her as much as, or maybe even far more than, I do. This, maybe, is the reason why I have cried ever since the first time we have heard of the news. Alongside the fact that seeing my girlfriend in so much pain elicits the same pain onto my chest, knowing that someone very dear to her heart has gone makes me so damn worried about her.
All I could do right now is hope for the best for her whole family. They may not know me personally, but I have heard enough stories for me to learn to love them as well. Every single person who means something to my girlfriend, means as much to me as well. With a prayer every now and then, all I could wish for is healing through time. May the winds whisper words of comfort all the way to their hurting hearts.
I love her. I love her so much.